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- Their Names Are Obi & Jose
Obi is the manager of a car wash in Port Chester, NY.
Jose’ is a busboy/waiter at a Diner in Port Chester, NY.
Port Chester is socioeconomically and culturally, a very diverse town in Westchester, NY with a heavy Latin American population.
Unbeknownst to Jose and Obi, their simple response within separate conversations I had with each of them affirmed so clearly my beliefs in what makes people work hard, stay in their roles, and genuinely report happiness.
They inspired me to share with you.
One ancillary thing I took away, was the simple idea of asking someone “how long have you been working here?” as a powerful opening into allowing someone to share with you what is important to them.
And therefore a powerful connector to bring two people together.
My wife tells me she likes the “Together UPs” with less fluff and more tangible actions. So this is a WARNING, this one may lean fluff, with a few sprinkles of tangible actions, but I think you’ll like stepping into the minds of Jose and Obi.
Here is where you decide - do I like getting to the heart of what makes people leave their jobs, and what creates loyalty?
Or am I going to instead go to the counter of the local diner, followed up by a little express wash?
And if you’re here for the first time, or have visited before but never subscribed to Together UP! I invite you to honor me with a tap of this button.
JOSE’
I love Diners.
I think it’s the authenticity in all of it.
The white mug. The never-ending coffee. The style of hash browns - the crispy bits that you know have been sitting on a 50-year-old seasoned griddle just getting absolutely perfect while they wait for you to call them into your morning.
Those cakes in the window that you think must be fake because of how perfect they appear and how shiny those strawberries are on top of the strawberry shortcake. The fluffy sturdiness of the 5-inch tall Cream Pie.
And the people who work there. I often wonder about their story.
It’s why I love to sit up at the counter. There’s energy in the hustle and bustle around you, and the people manning the counter will reveal themselves to you very quickly with their greeting, a swift saucer and mug, and a translucent plastic16oz cup of ice water at your ready.
Play your cards right and they’ll slip in a 6 oz fresh-squeezed orange juice on the house with a little wink.
It didn’t take the person manning the counter that morning Jose’ - a father of two teenagers Natalie and Jose’ Jr., - very long to strike up a short little conversation with a question about where I lived. When I told him he said,
“Oh. I used to work at [BLANK For Privacy] Restaurant in that town.”
“I was a dishwasher. I HATED IT. I only worked there for a year”.
Hmmmm. I had to know more.
“What did you hate about it?”
With that, he affirmed what I believe. It’s how you treat people that matters.
“It was the owner - I don’t even know if he knew my name. He never ONCE said hello to me. Like I didn’t exist. I just hated it I couldn’t wait to leave” - Jose’
Wondering if this was a trend in his life, I asked “How long have you been working here at this Diner?”
PROUDLY he said “SIXTEEN YEARS”
Immediately, he began pointing to the other employees and went down the list of his colleagues: “That guy 20 years, that guy over there 12 years, that guy 22 years. No one ever leaves here. The owner owns 5 diners and no one leaves.”
Of note, I later learned, the pay is not very dynamic. The staff have a set # of hours they are permitted per week, keeping it within a tight band for them monetarily. But people don’t leave.
As luck would have it, the next time I was there - sitting at my same spot - the owner came in. Jose’ was SO PROUD to introduce me to him. I was honored to meet him and was even more honored to share my admiration for what he has built - and how.
That simple interaction with Jose’ has spawned a bit of a friendship. And the very next time I was in there, I was honored with a tour of the Baker (Jimmy’s) kitchen, deep in the basement.
Jimmy, the Baker, (below) has been there for over 30 years.
Hasn’t left and certainly doesn’t plan on it.
Check out those Strawberries! What a work of art.
Obi
Just 200 yds down the busy street from the Diner on Route 1 sits a car wash.
It’s your typical drive-through car wash.
The kind you pay $13 (cash) to go through when your car might not need it but your kid is 5 and you’re bored and you need something to keep them quiet, and let them sit in the “big boy passenger seat” as they stare mesmerizingly at the octopus hands swishing all over your windshield.
This one had been closed for ~9 months for a tare-down / rebuild into a newer version in its exact footprint. I was happy to see it open again, even though my 17-year-old son doesn’t really care about the octopus hands anymore.
Since I wasn’t quite sure if the new car wash meant new management I was happy to see the same person greet me in the drive-up area as had been there for so many years prior.
I gave him a big “Welcome BACK! The place looks great!”
Wherever you work, and whatever you represent, helping people feel seen and proud is a great gift to give.
I like to give that gift by purposefully letting it be known that I appreciate their place or acknowledge their particular craft.
Obi gave me a “THANKS! It’s great to be up and running again”
With that I sorta of did my thing - I wanted him to have an opportunity to share with me something with a simple prompt.
“I’ve seen you here many times, but I’m curious, how long have you been working here?
Obi: “IT’ll BE FORTY YEARS This year..”
Me: “HOLY CRAP! 40 years??? Congratulations! It’s hard to be ANYWHERE for 40 years!”
Obi: “Yes. I was with the woman who owned it before for THIRTY SIX YEARS and now the new owner for FOUR years.”
Obi-
“They are both such great bosses. You know, the pay has never been great, but the woman who owned it for so long did anything she could for me whenever I needed it. She gave me my first job when I came here 40 years ago - I was a dryer - and now I’m the manager.
And GUESS WHAT, when this new owner who owns it now tore the building down to build up the new place, he made sure I had a job working on the construction!
AND GUESS WHAT!
He bought us all coffee every day during the construction. I was the coffee guy and I went every day to get coffee for everyone - EVERY DAY!
AND ONCE A WEEK HE BOUGHT US LUNCH!
But GUESS WHAT - HE SAT WITH US AND ATE LUNCH WITH US!
He would sit up against the wall just like us.
AND GUESS WHAT! HE WORKED WITH US! He would grab all of the tools and smash walls and build the place along side of us.
He now owns 13 Car washes and he would pick up a sledgehammer and the tools and get into the construction with us.
I’ve been here for 40 years I’ve been so lucky.”
Jose’ and Obi have been performing the same individual tasks they’re asked to perform - the Same. Exact. Thing. Every. Day - For 16 and 40 years, respectively.
And when given the opportunity to share a little bit, they immediately go to how they are treated and how lucky they are.
It wasn’t the pay.
It was the respect and ownership they feel - from ownership.
I’m so thankful that people are so willing to share their stories. I find people are eager to do it and they are eager to connect when given the chance.
There are stories like this everywhere, I hope you can find your own.
Here’s your tangible takeaway.
Ask someone how long they have been working somewhere.
You are virtually guaranteed to learn something about that person and even something about the places they’ve been.
“I Just started” There’s a story there.
“40 years” There’s a story there.
“2 years but this isn’t what I really want to do” There’s a story there.
You can learn things from people everyday - from the C-suite to the Dishwashers. The Car Washes and Diners to the Trading Desks, PE firms and Tech companies.
What I Hope For As a Broader Takeaway
If you simply start with yourself, by asking “How am I impacting my people by how I treat them?” you will solve a lot of the issues in and around whoever you impact, that may appear to be technical in nature.
We are hardwired to need to connect with each other and need to contribute to a goal. And we want a place where we can do both of those things.
And contrary to the opinions of many who SCOFF at soft skills being just that - (soft) I will recite my line for you:
Soft Skills become Technical when your people underperform, or when they leave.
We at our core as Humans require signals that you add value and that you are valued in your environment.
We do all of this Together.
Together UP!
I’d love to hear your feedback on other ideas or on what you think about my points of view.
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