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- From "K" To "Okay"
TOGETHER UP!
Curated insights shared with you to lead, build better teams, and do the little things that make a huge impact on performance.
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I WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU SHARED WITH THOSE YOU THINK WILL ENJOY IT!
The goal is to inspire you to assess where you are, how you are doing as you connect with others, how your teams are doing, and how you are leading - whoever it is that you lead and whatever “team” you are on.
Each week I will be offering thoughts and actionable suggestions that fall under one of the categories that I have developed as my Guiding Principles that you will find in great leaders and great teams. Found at the bottom of each piece.
From “K” To “Okay”
Starting Small To Improve Communication
If you’ve played an outdoor sport, you may have applied eye-black to your face before a game. When athletes place eye-black on their eyes, are they actually saying, “By applying this black streak below my eyes, I will effectively reduce the glare from the sunlight which will allow me to see the ball better and perform".”
Not…really…
What they’re actually doing in that action is transferring information both internally and externally.
Internally it says
“Time to shift my mindset to game mode”
Externally it says
“This shows the opposition that I’m ready and focused"… and… tough”.
It’s a classic example of something many people have done, but have likely not looked past the first layer of what it actually is.
This is common in communication and why mishandling the information you transmit can cause so much variance in cohesion, connection, culture, and leadership,
With Few Exceptions - Everything You Do Sends A Message.
There’s a reason why Communication sits at the very top of my Guiding Principles found in any successful leader or team.
I have yet to encounter a scenario where something was wrong with a team, a group, or a culture, or where maximizing performance for themselves or their team was the goal, and it didn’t organically start with understanding the current status of communication - all forms.
The transfer of information is going on constantly.
How you talk
When you talk
The common focus of your message
How you dress
Your house
How you respond to questions
Punctuality
Your effort
Your level of participation
What you drive
Your hairstyle
Your makeup
Eye black!
How you listen
If you talk
Body Language
The pace you walk
Your eyes
A handshake
Your text responses
How you celebrate
The majority of the time, these types of actions feel instinctual or part of your day-to-day, but awareness of how you communicate, what you communicate, and how you receive communication sits at the core of improving any situation.
Start Small
With most things you’ll hear me talk about, creating a mindset to improve something can start small and allow it to compound and build.
When I talk about authentic recognition, I’ve talked about how simply asking someone’s name and calling them by it can start to compound in your life and your team.
When we think of communication start by counting just an extra half second before you respond to someone, even via text and in the simplest of forms.
“okay” vs “k”
“yes" or “I agree” vs “yup
“thanks” vs “thx”
Simply start small.
Examine how it plays out in everyday life.
if you were to share a piece of information with someone via text or email, and they respond with “k”. What does that say to you? What is the message sent back?
To me, in most circumstances, it can feel dismissive. What the person is sharing is, your information is of very little value to me, so I will give it the least possible effort in response. It may feel small and perhaps even subconscious, but if the message mattered to them the response would not be so dismissive.
Good Luck To This Person!
You can respond more thoughtfully.
You can start small and foster more fluid lines of communication.
Three Examples
Look for how these emotions play out simply with three different responses to the same message.
Disengagement / Thriving / Passive Objection
Greg, you’ve made a big jump so far this year. Your effort is noticed. Please keep focusing on penetrating those target clients that we’ve discussed. If you can continue to gain market share with them I’d love to be able to give you two more clients that need additional focus.
Greg: “Okay, thank you I appreciate it. Yeah I’ve been working hard with them so I’m glad it’s noticed”.Greg, you’ve made a big jump so far this year. Your effort is noticed. Please keep focusing on penetrating those target clients that we’ve discussed. If you can continue to gain market share with them I’d love to be able to give you two more clients that need additional focus.
Greg: “k”Greg, you’ve made a big jump so far this year. Your effort is noticed. Please keep focusing on penetrating those target clients that we’ve discussed. If you can continue to gain market share with them I’d love to be able to give you two more clients that need additional focus.
Greg: “Okay…” (The dreaded ellipsis)
“Yo Jon, what’s up with your obsession with “k”? What did someone do to you that has left you scarred?”
It may indeed appear I’m triggered by it. Truth be told I probably have a more meaningful distaste for “yup” but it’s really more about the broader message.
Be aware of the messages you’re sending - especially the subconscious and passive ones. Look at how you're sending it.
If your team is not hitting its stride, take a step back and examine the communication. Ask me how you can improve it!
Where To From Here?
Three ways you can start improving communication within any team or organization you lead or are a member of:
Look for responses that leave it up to the recipient to interpret their meaning. Chances are, the risk of misinterpretation is high. So don’t leave it to them. Use the few extra words to express your true feelings.
Grease the wheels for enhanced communication. Practice it yourself. That door that you claim is “always open” - make sure those who walk through it feel like it’s okay to return. You don’t need to solve every issue or respond to every idea immediately. Start by thanking them for bringing it to you and leaving it at that.
If someone does respond in a way that leaves it to interpretation, ask for further clarity. Don’t let it stew. Mistrust can grow from uncertainty.
Three People I’m Thanking
Chris, the Starbucks barista - for the consistent side pour and for remembering my name when I walk in!
My son Tucker, for being an awesome big brother to his little bro! He gives him his full attention and always makes him feel like he matters to him. He is not dismissive.
All of the clients I used to talk to who gave it that little extra in their response after I spent 20 mins thinking about how to best engage them and in return, for sure got many a “k”
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