Humans, Hormones, & High School Football

Welcome back to Together UP!

I talk about things that contribute to a mission of having Leaders and their Teams of all kinds, corporate & athletic, fill the void in what’s missing so they can have as many people as possible say & feel, “I’m on the best team, I love coming in every day”

We’re better Together.
Your People = Your Performance.

You can learn a lot if you take the time to look for things. It’s what Together UP! is all about.

And despite the seemingly universal consensus about “kids these days” and the world going to shit because teenagers and Gen Z and their phones, if you pause and take the time to look for the purity of what makes us human, you can be inspired and even educated by “kids these days".

As I enjoy the luxury of no longer being stuck inside a singularly focused mandate for market share, revenue targets, and Hedge Fund penetration, my eyes have been opened to the previously unnoticed nuggets that drive humans to do what they do.

My clearest awakening as I try and help Leaders and their teams perform, is that you cannot fool the human body. And if you leverage that understanding, you have the ability to actually let the natural wiring of the human body work for you.

We generally work very hard to repel what the people we team up with really need in order to be motivated, engaged, together, and trusting.

We walk through life carrying incredible tools designed to help us to survive when in danger, and to thrive within community. When those tools show themselves, its magical, and I try and shine light on how powerful they can be to help people use them to dominate.

When my son came to me July heading into his Junior year in High School and said, “Dad I think I’m gonna play football this year” my response was “That’s awesome buddy! I love that!”

There is something uniquely special about High School football. I’ve been on a lot of teams, played a lot of sports, and I never did play football - to my regret. But the unique experience of high school football comes from the fact that unlike almost every other sport, your opportunity to experience it is confined to a timetable that ends your senior year in High School.

If anyone out there knows of a pickup men’s tackle football league for 40 and 50 yr olds, then i’ll stand corrected.

It is this dynamic that also delivers the finality of it all when it ends, as it did for my son last week in a playoff game during his Senior season. A game with high expectations, serving to drop a heavy weight of finality.

So it’s what happened around that loss, the resulting end to his experience that allowed me to look even closer at the micro-moments that my son - as a human - experienced.

It began as it ended, with other people and a meal.

It’s a right of passage for High School football players to experience double and triple sessions in the August heat. This being the first ever football experience that my son was about to have, my expectations were simple. and they were very low:

Success came immediately.

What did success look like? It came when when I drove by “Jerry’s,” the institution in town that serves as the “go-to” deli.

Every town has one, and for us, it’s Jerry’s.

In a stroke of coincidence, I was driving by Jerry’s just as my son and two of his new football teammates were getting out a car to head in and grab lunch between their first day of triple sessions.

For me, whatever happened after that moment in football didn’t matter. “Football” was a success.

What it signaled was the fact that he was going to experience those unique micro-moments with teammates that he would otherwise never (EVER) be able to experience during this time of life.

That simple act of being together, going through the experiences of laughing or being miserable from the grueling practice, or figuring out what their go-to order was at that exact moment, for their exact need, at that exact time. Breaking each other’s chops for a bad order, or being inspired by a mention of a little hot sauce on the chicken cutlet.

Whatever it was, it’s togetherness and it bonds us.

SUCCESS!

So when the bookend to the High School football experience got delivered to our doorstep (last week) with the sudden loss in the playoffs, it put an end to two years of micro-moments that he now had tucked under his belt. And I was very very curious as to how he - my son - would react.

The tools he was given as a human to survive and thrive kicked in.

His human body took over.

As a dad, I watched my son in that moment of finality very closely from far across the field. Would he engage his teammates? Would he engage individually his coaches? WOULD HE EVEN CARE!!!??

As I realize now, the fact that his team’s visiting bench was located far across the field, and not directly under our noses on our side of the stands, served as an enormous blessing - for him and his teammates.

The space - and time that created was vital to allowing for them to process it. If they were under our noses, we would be quick to call them over, to hug them, and they would be quick to meander over to us. (Teaching moment for parents, if we’re being honest).

Instead, there was time for him to process. And I watched.

What first looked like a sneeze, I realized was his body experiencing grief. We’ve all seen it. It comes with a realization of finality. With loss. (I say this knowing it’s just a game and there are FAR GREATER losses in life, but you also can’t fool the human body. It is going to do what it needs to in that moment - and its reaction to GRIEF was just that.

Me: Okay……He Cared.
Me: He is experiencing life right now. A micro-moment that doesn’t feel so micro right now, but otherwise wouldn’t have happened apart from his decision to play football.

And it ended as it started on the first day. With a meal on the final day.

Your body gives you what you need. You can’t really help it. It’s beautiful.

Oxytocin has been described as “Mother nature’s way of trying desperately to try and help us look after each other.” as the “glue that holds a team together.” - Simon Sinek

It’s our body’s most powerful tool in seeking and establishing bonds with others, and forming inherent trust.

So what happened the next day following this abrupt end to these player’s experience?

“Hey dad, the seniors are all headed to breakfast at Mamo’ Diner”

SUCCESS!

They had to be together. Their bodies were still so filled with the glue that keeps them together, it couldn’t be repelled.

They couldn’t ignore it. They couldn’t ignore what they instinctively knew they needed. The need and desire to simply be together.

WHY THIS MATTERS

We are in a remote enrionment. And even for those who aren’t, who do have the ability to be together with their team each day, the stakes feel like they are higher than ever.

i see it every da. Leaders and teams RARELY make time for bringing out these incredibly powerful tools that we have as humans to THRIVE. To DOMINATE, To TRUST,

We ignore it.

But by ignoring it, you are working harder to repel what is natural than you would be to allow it to be used in the way that it is designed.

If you give it that little extra space and time to let the people around you connect, be human, and be together, your body will take the reins and what you’ll experience is truly special.

A SUGGESTION

For all of those parents out there who have kids who are involved in something of their choosing that creates micro-moments for YOU as a parent that you otherwise never experience if not for them choosing to do so, thank them. Tell them thank you and even write them a real note and just say “Thank you”

“Thank you for playing xxxxxxx. By doing so, I as a parent get to experience things in my own life that I otherwise would never be able to if not for you doing this.”

They may be “kids these days” but they’ll know what that means.

Help Us Do More Together

I’d love to hear your feedback on other ideas, on how I can help your team, or just hear from you in general.

Tell me. [email protected]

Like what you read and the content?
Refer this to someone you think would appreciate it.

Follow me on:
Twitter (X) @jonhess98
My Instagram is @jhesspic
And you’ll see the best stuff on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jon-hess-69248286/