Welcome To Together UP!

Curated insights shared with you to lead, build better teams, and do the little things that make a huge impact on performance.

I am a leadership and team development coach who believes that teams outlast and outperform when built from the bottom up.

I WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU SHARED TOGETHER UP! WITH THOSE YOU THINK WILL ENJOY IT!

The goal is to inspire. No matter what type of team you lead or what type of team you are on.

Now onto Edition #14

Do You Need A Vacation From Your Vacation?

I always like to offer up very simple things you can do in your everyday life that can help you create an even better place of work and help you bring your groups or teams together.

You can even do some of these things while you’re away from the group!

It’s vacation season.

Are you like me and you…….
…….wait and wait and wait for your vacation week off, and then you get to it, and it’s WEDNESDAY before you can even start to get into the relaxed mindset, and you’re running around all week to get everything in, and your racing to the mini-golf place to get there at 9:45am because it opens at 10am and GOD FORBID you get stuck behind a family of 6 who CLEARLY don’t know that you don’t wait for each person including their 4 yr old to complete the hole in entirety before the next person in the group plays and if you were to get stuck bedhind them you’ll be there for 2 hrs and you have to be at the beach by noon or it’s gonna be too crowded and the line is gonna be too long at the sandwich place at that time so you need someone to go and stand in line because you really want to make sure you eat before the tide rolls back in and the waves become less ideal for boogie boarding and the line really gets way too long by 12:00pm. Plus, you have a 5:30pm reservation at the restaurant you’ve been waiting to go to ALL YEAR - it’s a TRADITION! and you would never miss that tradition, or else it wouldn’t be a vacation!

How could it ever be vacation if we don’t hit the clam shack!?? We’ve hit the clam shack every year for 20 years!?? WE GOTTA GET TO THE CLAM SHACK!! LET’s GO” PEOPLE!!!!

And then all of a sudden you’re packing to leave on Friday because you have to be out of the house on Saturday morning and you walk in the office Monday morning and think…

I NEED A VACATION AFTER MY VACATION!

I’m stressed just thinking about it!

Well here’s the good news.

There are two very simple things you can do to increase the quality of your time on vacation.

Here’s the BETTER news. most people go on vacation to get a break from work, right?

Well these 2 things will not only improve the quality of your time on your vacation, they’ll actually improve the overall quality of your work experience, help you enjoy it and feel more engaged, and even help the team around you perform better.

What Is This Magic Elixer?

I’ll get there, slow down, slow down, don’t worry, the waves will still be there by the time I tell you. but first, you need to know WHY.

To know WHY, you’ll need to know what to look for.

What you’re looking for…is two things

1) How did it change the affect of the person you interacted with?
2) What change do you notice in your own self?

1) How did it change the affect of the person you interacted with?

This is crucial. Because while we’re focusing on creating change in tye world around YOU, it’s actually NOT about you. it’s about how your own actions impact others, and in turn what that does for you physiologically and psychologically.

You will be looking for changes in people’s:

• Body language.

• Eye contact

• Smile

• Demeanor

• Generosity

• Service

• Communication

• Listening

2) What change did I notice in myself? My own demeanor and my own overall mood?

• Did some tension release?

• Did the scenario get worse?

• Did others around me change in a way that made me feel good?

• Did it start to bleed into other areas of the day in a positive way?

• Instead of feeling angst in my gut, did my shoulders feel like they released a little?

• Did I like it?

So Here Are The Two Things

1. Pick a place (or places) where you’ll be going somewhat frequently during the week. A Coffee shop, an ice cream store, a deli, a place of a regular activity.
   

   Take into account the personality and behavorial characteristics of the individual(s) as I listed above (body language, overall affect) and use them as your baseline.
   
   Ask the person who is helping you their name.
   
   Use it regularly.
   
   Next time you’re in there, use it right up front. “Hi Anthony”
   
   On the way out, “Thank You Anthony”… you get the drill.
   
   Over the course of your interactions, take into account if it changes the person’s affect towards you - and better yet, the way they interact with other people around you.
   
   Was there a smile that didn’t exist before?
   
   Did their body language change even a bit?
   
   Were they more patient?
   
   Were they more generous with their ice cream scoop?
   
   Did they seem to feel lifted up just a bit by you making even a small effort to make a connection with them.
   
   
   

2. THIS ONE IS FOR YOU. IT BENEFITS OTHERS BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOU
   
   LET SOMEONE GO AHEAD OF YOU IN LINE
   There will (likely) be many lines that you will stand on. That may even include sitting at busy intersections or traffic.
   
   This one can feel hard (honestly, and for all of the reasons described in what can feel hard about vacation in what can feel like high urgency to jam everything in).
   
   Let someone by you in line. Let them skip ahead.
   
   Maybe even pick a time when it feels the hardest to do so. When you would normally feel the most rushed and stressed.
   
   Let a car go ahead of you at an intersection or merge.

Take a moment then to look inside of yourself and your state of mind.
What did that do for you?

• Did anything change about the scenario?

• Did you still get to the place on time?

• Did you still get your food?

• Did that person being ahead of you matter to your overall experience?

• Did it feel good to let them by? Was the gesture received? Was there a wink or a nod or a wave or a smile?

• Did that smile feel good?

Take account of your overall speed and demeanor. Did anything change?

It’s Science. And Why The Science Matters

Oxytocin is a hormone that acts as a chemical messenger in the brain, controlling key aspects of behavior including sexual arousal, recognition, trust, romantic attachment, and mother–infant bonding.

Oxytocin production and secretion is controlled by a positive feedback mechanism where the release of the hormone causes an action that stimulates more of its own release.

It has the power to regulate our emotional responses and pro-social behaviors, including trust, empathy, gazing, positive memories, processing of bonding cues, and positive communication

As in, the more it’s released the more likely you are to be - chemically! In a mindset to want to do more of what you just did.

And even better, it has been shown that even OBSERVING such acts release oxytocin in the body.

Yes - you are scientifically prompting others to do things that look to connect, bond, act kinder, trust, simply by having someone see it or feel it themselves.

But Why Does This Matter For My Workplace?

Great question! I’m glad you asked.

What you will take with you is the realization that simple gestures, where you enable others to feel seen or prioritized ahead of you, actually stimulates a more positive environment.

Trust, bonding, happiness.

All of these elevate, starting with how you treat one person.

Then two.

Then how you interact in a meeting.

Then how you generally look to interact with others.

AND IT NATURALLY PROMPTS OTHERS AROUND YOU TO DO THE SAME!

Want a healthier and happier day-to-day work experience? IT STARTS with you doing little simple things.

Want to help your team bond?

It starts with simple acts of helping each person feel seen and heard.

Simple Things You Can Do To Impact Change When You Get To Work

• Listen to people actively - don’t try and fill in the blanks

• Thank people for their ideas or thoughts.

• Let someone ahead of you in the line at the “cafeteria”

• Compliment someone in a meeting

• Send an email recognizing someone’s contribution to their boss.

• Let people talk in meetings and simply thank them.

• Let people come in your office and share - just share.

All of these things are simple gestures that will stimulate a healthier, happier environment that will build trust and help forge a culture of togetherness.

Better Yet, not only will you be benefitting the overall quality of your much-needed vacation, you will be enhancing the place you are looking to take a vacation FROM in the first place!! What a win!

It’s easy.

It’s science

It brings you together.

And Together Is Better!

Together UP!

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Visit My website www.unlockperformance.co to learn more about what I do and why I talk about this stuff!

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